Article: Walleye Time. A Lesson In Abnormal Psychology.

Psst! Listen Up And I'll Tell You My Fishing Secrets!

Walleye is one of the greatest eating, fresh water fish in the U.S.! If you like perch, you'll love walleye, because walleye are the largest kin-fish to the perch. Perch are small, but if you catch a bunch of them, and then fillet them, you can have a skillet full of great eating.

I've met fish people who only fish for perch. They use a pencil float and a small hook with a long shank. They put on a tad bit of worm and wait for the float to flash under. Once filleted, the meat is so translucent in quality that you can almost see through it. You get BONELESS fish.

The largest walleye I have caught so far weighed 7.3 lbs. Caught two of them. Seldom do fishing experts dispense with their secrets, but I am going to do something that I know I shouldn't do. I am going to share with you a wee bit of knowledge about how to be successful at catching a decent walleye, or now, a saugeye, without a boat. A saugeye is a hybrid cross between a walleye and a sauger.

"The Sauger fish looks very much like its brother the walleye, however it is smaller and exists in fewer numbers. You can tell the two apart by looking closely at the dorsal fin; the Sauger has a row of dark spots there. This fish usually only gets as large as two to three pounds, but it has a large mouth with many sharp teeth. Its common names are sand pike, ground pike, and spotfin pike. The Sauger is not a pike, however, it is actually a type of perch."

Right now is a great time to go fishing. It is sleeting out and the wind is out of the north. It's cold as, ... well, ... hell! Only an idiot would go out and fish for walleye on a day like this. But those that can hack it, can bring home some good eating. It is obvious I am not out fishing. My serious walleye fishing days are over. I have serious back problems, and walking out on the rip-rap is deadly dangerous for one who has a back like mine. The last time I went out on the rocks, about 6 foot out, I fell, dislodged my middle finger in a 45 degree angle and nearly broke a leg. Walking on rocks takes at least a stably, strong back. By the way, in case of finger-part dislodging, simply press on the knuckle with thumb and first finger, and it should "POP" into place. Bloody shins are a bit harder to heal.

Use jigs when the wind is blowing into the rip-rap, because the shad are blown up against the rocks. The screaming sea gulls are a dead-on sign that you will likely catch a bucket full of fish, and with any luck a walleye. Use a 5 gallon bucket. But remember, too, that the last of January, February, and March, the walleye come into the rocks to spawn. Now for the abnormal psychology part of this missive.

Ol' man Jones and I were fishing off the rip-rap with another elderly, hard headed fisherman, named Skaggs.

"I hate walleye!" Skaggs complained, as he took one off of his hook. "They have an extra set of bones in them, and they can kill you if you eat them. I only keep sand bass!" (white bass outside of Oklahoma.) In fact, he had caught a keeper walleye, though small. I had caught three nice sandies. I winked at Jones.

"There is no extra bones in walleye. Even my kids eat them without fear, " I said. "In fact, I will trade these three sandies for your walleye!"

"It's a deal!"

I moved over next to Jones and grinned. "Do you have a fillet knife in your truck?"

"Sure do!" he said.

"I'll make a believer out of Skaggs!"

We all quit at the same time, and we gathered at the back of Jones' pickup. Skaggs and I traded fish.

"Jones!" I bellowed. "Do you have a fillet knife? I want Skaggs to show me those extra bones!"

Skaggs was defiant!

I quickly filleted the walleye and slammed, "Okay, Mr. Skaggs, I want you to point out those extra bones. Here's the fillet. Find them, and I will be a believer!"

Skaggs didn't take me up on the proposition. He grabbed his bucket, head-long for his truck!

"I don't care what you say, walleye have an extra set of bones on them. They're trash fish! I wouldn't have one on my dinner table!" he retorted as he put his bucket in the truck and slammed the door, started his pickup, and headed east.

"Don't you know, Kansas!" ol' Jones called me. "A man convinced against his will, remains unconvinced still."

It is true, and here in lies the lesson in abnormal psychology. Normal thinking in psyschology means a pattern of thinking that the largest percentage of humans think like, in their society. It is those 10 percent or less, who deviate from the norm, who are considered abnormal.

Heck, I don't eat human flesh, but a small percentage, indeed small, find human flesh edible. Thus can that small percentage be defined as abnormal. I have friends who hear voices and are deemed schizophrenic and deal with it with drugs. Depression is nothing to mess with, either. It is not normal for humans in OUR CULTURE, to commit suicide. Intervention is mandated before the depressed person commits suicide. Sadly, I must admit that I have lost friends whose depression went unchecked.

After the president's speech, there are still those who didn't hear him say he had screwed up, but did hear him say that 'I'm a'gonna' fix it.' These dopes heard him say, though, something like, "I guarantee you, this is fixable, simply by sending in 21,000 more troops." They believe everything that Bush says, even though 85 to 90% of us discount, by now, anything that Bush dreams up. Dang right, his Republican followers have had a change of mind about his stupid ideas, and they have good reason to be burning mad. Bush is blowing out his ears.

An old saying goes, "When the same man is bitten by the same dog at the same house two different times, it is time to shoot the man and not the dog."

Well, ... at this point, surely you get the gist of this article. By now, anyone who is still hanging on to Bush's coattails must be defined as abnormal. Their brains are functioning, but not properly. They believe walleye have an extra set of bones in them, and that that old pit bull, with the ring around his eye, that has bitten them dozens of times, can walk by that house one more time because, " ... this time that there dog won't bite me again."

And, ... we could throw in here the old sage about saving a rattlesnake which is caught in brambles with a promise he won't bite us, this time.

So, at this point, anyone still hanging on to Bush's ideas have abnormal brain waves. It's going to take a huge "attitude adjustment" to change their minds. NOT! It is only, too bad, that these abnormal folks aren't the ones who walk the Baghdad streets rather than our soldiers must.

But for the salvation of the rest of us, "I ain't walkin' on that sidewalk again, no matter even if the President tells me that we should walk by that house one more time."