Diary: America in a deep existential crisis

The bubble is burst. I understand there is not much hope around here. I'll fix this. Do you deserve to be alive? Do you believe you do make a difference in this world? That you are necessary to the happiness of everyone around you?

Are you a bubbly person? Bubbling people around. And once rattled, you turn nasty, and no longer can be bubbling around? Welcome to America! No one is bubbly around here anymore, despite our natural will to be bubbly people by birth.

I'm the first one to crack, I'm at the front. I am now insane! That's what you've done, that's the result of this campaign. I no longer care for what I do. I don't care to upset anyone. Let's face it, it is easy to upset you... you only need to upset one superior, and all is finished.

I told you I was insane. So nice it is to be no one, have no credibility or ambition. I can say what I want, what I mean, without fearing for any consequence. I am lost to this world at any rate.

Everything that has happened recently just about finished me off. And now, I am ready to load my gun and start shooting. I have a few people in mind, the very ones who would agree I need to be imprisoned, the very ones who do need to be imprisoned for what they've done.

I'm finished anyway, I might as well shoot the very ones who worked so hard, at polishing their own ambition, getting ready to depart this world so rich, you wonder if there is a point to it all. So many times have I dreamt of this, as my only way out of this world, I might just do it and be forever lost to this world.

Who do you think I am? You obviously have no idea, as I am you. And yet, I used to be such a bubbly person. This transformation in itself could be called a transfiguration in a biblical sense. Oh yes, despite all the appearances, I am your only savior. I am that delusional, or that idealistic. I bet you recognize yourself here.

If you were where I am, I have no doubt, you would be dreaming of it too. And yet, I am so bubbly, bubbling inside, full of bubbles, so happy all the time! What have you done to me! You managed to annihilate all the bubbles somehow!

Short and sweet, instant lines to translate where I am now, after all this. So simple, I wish to commit suicide, and believe me, I will find a way to blame you for it, after my death. Oh, and you thought you had done so well. Think again, you can do better!

Nothing is solved, we are at the same place we were. Can expect anything at any time. State of emergency, false flag event, crisis of any kind, to keep us exactly where we are. Is there any kind of turning back to what once was, or can it only get worse?

Changes only in appearances, only in promises. It is one thing to feel something, when confronted with one useless human being. It is another to act for the masses in front of so much destruction and despair.

At this point, I feel nothing can be done. As if it was too late. I feel I could not save this world, even with all the power in the world. And so, no one else, with only limited power, can now do anything for anyone.

Don't you just feel that this is a doomed world, and that somehow it was engineered that way? Must profit to someone out there, whilst it was designed for the rest of us to just die. Well, I am just about ready for it, to commit suicide. The master plan has succeeded.

I have no will left to exist within this world. It is rotten to the core. We have failed spectacularly, as a humanity. We might just as well give it all up. There are evil people in this world. They might have been your best friends at some point, and yet, suddenly, they turned viciously against you. You can't explain it, and yet, it is human nature. Easily explained that way.

What is more difficult to explain, is why you are not evil yourself. Why you still cling to some sort of moral and ethical way of life. You must be an anomaly of nature, a mistake. Don't worry, you will disappear quickly enough.

Why is it that I have no hope left? Why is it that I only feel like committing suicide? Is it possible that I could have lost faith in humanity so desperately? Is it possible that I don't feel anyone can save us, save me, bring back some sanity? Am I the only remaining sane person within this world, and as such, I am insane, and need to be wiped out?

Don't worry. It is coming. You will succeed. No one has any will left to live. This world is not mine, not ours, it has never been. I might as well, never have existed. We might as well, never have existed. As there is no purpose to this way of life.

So much despair, when somehow we could now hope for salvation. I don't believe it, you don't believe it, we are no fools. There is no hope left in this world, no audacity of any kind left that could actually change our state of mind. We just do not believe change can happen. Not even sure if change could change anything to our daily life, our eternal misery.

This is our existential crisis. We have lost our job, or about to. We have lost our mortgage, we have lost everything. In any case, we certainly suffer greatly. We are now nothing. No one knows what is to happen to any of us. We did believe we could make a difference, that we stood for something. How delusional we were. We count for nothing. No one cares for our own fate. There is no audacity of hope, there is no hope.

This is our existential crisis, America's very own existential crisis. It is just the beginning, there is no end in sight. I wonder, was it meant to be? Are we meant to just die? Hope for any kind of savior? Or simply take over our own destiny and make it happen, despite meaningless elections and useless governments?

The only audacity of hope I can see, is the hope for people to live freely from any authority or government. To act as if they did not exist, accepting for a fact that they can only deepen our existential crisis.

Can I help someone here today? Can I alleviate the existential crisis of someone today? Can I help my own existential crisis without expecting any kind of savior? How do I need to change my frame of mind?

No one will come and save me or save the world but me. No one will come and save us and the world but us. There is nothing more we can expect from either religions or governments. No authority ever, on this planet, will ever alleviate the deep existential crisis this world is struggling with.

Only me, only you, only us, together, outside of all of this, will make sense of this existential crisis, and get out of it.

I feel powerful tonight, how do you feel? I am filled with ideas, a new way of picturing this world. I am not surprised it has nothing to do with how this world has been going about it.

America is in a deep existential crisis after all. It is not coming to term with it. We cannot expect our salvation to come from any savior. It is up to me, to you, to us, to get out of this existential crisis, and find a meaning to our existence.

So get up and do something about it! Never mind how insignificant it all is, on a global scale. Help the one next to you, that's all you can do, but if we all do it, there will be hope in this world. This is where we are now. At the very least, if you cannot save anyone else, save yourself, free yourself!

The only hope we have to save this world, is to ignore that there are others out there working at saving it for us. We have to save this world ourselves independently from anyone else.

So we better get organized and save ourselves from ourselves. We better somehow, independently, without hoping for a savior, find a way out of our own existential crisis.

It can only start with me, it can only start with you. This is our only hope. Change can now only happen at the smallest scale, as this is where we are now. When we can no longer expect anything from above, and can only expect hope and salvation coming from ourselves.

You might not understand yet the importance of what I am saying now, I don't believe this has been the discourse of anyone else before. I fear you will actually get to understand this message quite clearly very soon. I will bet a dollar on it, the worth of all my assets, the worth of all our assets. Now you understand what is in store for us all, what I truly mean.

We are by no means out of the woods yet, this is just the beginning. This existential crisis will find its answer before the end of it all, I can assure you.

Somehow, despite it all, it is critical that we find a way to remain true to ourselves, that we remain the bubbly people we are. Everything depends upon this.

Who cares anyway for anything that is going on in this world? Not all the bubbles are required to burst. Happiness is possible no matter what. It is up to every single one of us to make it happen.

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All previous political articles by Roland Michel Tremblay:
http://www.themarginal.com/destructivism.htm
His email address: rm@themarginal.com