16 Let your riches be as a vampire squid, that they will draw to you
even more wealth than even thine own father could ever have dreamt of.
17 Think not that I have come to destroy the Fox/Randian temple or
drive out its disciples, I am not come to prosecute, but to invest!
18 For verily I say onto you, till all the oil runs out, not one poor
man's son or daughter shall escape war till all wealth derived is funneled onto
you.
19 Whosoever therefore shall renounce his wealth and shall encourage
others of my Chosen to do the same, he shall be called a heretic and shunned by
all who worship in my temple, but whosoever shall swindle even their fellow
disciples shall be called the greatest Wizard of Wall Street ever.
20 For I say unto you, that except your greed exceed the greed of all
your brethren, ye shall in no case continue to be heralded on the sacred covers
of Forbes, but be banished from the Kingdom.
21 Ye have heard that it was said of them of old times, Thou shalt not
share wealth; and whosoever shall share shall be in danger of banishment from
the Temple of Ayn Rand,
22 but I say unto you that whosoever will not usurp the wealth of his
own brother shall be in danger of banishment; and whosoever shall say to his
brother, don't buy these worthless mortgage-backed securities, shall be in
danger of Wall Street's purge; yet whosoever shall warn his brother shall be in
danger of becoming one with the unwashed useless eaters.
23 Therefore, if thou bring thy gift to a politician and learn that thy
brother has bribed that same politician before thee,
24 double thy bribe and go thy way after extracting the additional
funds from thy brother, and then present thy fatter bribe.
25 Defraud thine adversary quickly, while thou art in the way with him,
lest he shaft you first and rat you out to the Feds.
26 Verily I say onto you, thou shalt by no means escape the Feds till thou pay a fine that, no matter how small, nevertheless shall make you wonder that prison may have been the cheaper route.
27 Ye have heard it said by them of the old times, thou shalt not breed with a unwashed useless eater,
28 but I say unto you that whosoever looketh on a servant and lusts after her is entitled to grope all of her most intimate places and even rape her as ye are among those blessed with wealth enough to buy her silence or retain the finest lawyers.
29 And if one of your brethren offend thee, bankrupt him and cast him out; for it is even more profitable to thee if there are ever fewer of the 1 percent until ye are the very last wealthy man on Earth, the sole owner of everything on the planet.
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