Again, the difference is like night and day -- we Americans all understand completely that our dozens of wars have made a big chunk of the world hate us, we know that's why they act the way they do toward us, and we blame ourselves for it. I'm sorry if you don't understand that, Iran, but that's just the way we roll.
5. When did the U.S. government decide to buy keyboards that WEREN'T ALL UPPER CASE?
For a long time, all U.S. cables were ALL IN UPPER CASE. This made it seem as though our diplomats WERE BOLD AND FILLED WITH SO MUCH CONFIDENCE THAT THEY YELLED ALL DAY LONG. Unfortunately, at some point this changed, and the cables became filled with puny lower-case letters. WE MUST FIND OUT WHO DID THIS, AND INVESTIGATE WHETHER IT WAS A PLOT TO WEAKEN US FROM WITHIN.
IN THE MEANTIME, I ADVISE ALL MY FELLOW AMERICANS TO HIT THE CAPS LOCK, ESPECIALLY WHEN TALKING TO FOREIGNERS. THEY WILL RESPECT THIS AS A SHOW OF STRENGTH.
THAT IS ALL. (Oh, and can we just bomb Iran and get it over with? I'm tired of the tease! We've already crapped up Iraq and Afghanistan -- what about the country located between them? They need a good ol' American... shellacking.)
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