He described a "final incident" that turned his beliefs strongly towards peace. In 1996 he served in a Reserve Unit imposing a one week curfew and lockdown on a refugee camp near Bethlehem. In the dark of night, past curfew, he recalled seeing a young boy rise from the squatting position the soldiers had ordered him to take. His reflex, in the dark of night and tense and fearful in the camp environment, he turned with his finger on the trigger of his rifle ready to fire. "I was scared." Another unit member warned him not to fire - and he finally said "enough...I can't do this anymore...I almost killed a young boy."
The other
A strong underlying theme was how the Palestinians were presented. None of the participants had any direct dealings with Palestinians.
Yom indicated he saw Palestinians everyday arriving to work in Israeli gardens in Gaza but had no contact with them. He said, "Israeli soldiers were asked to do all kinds of horrible things," and when he protested, was told "It is the only way to do it...the person over there is not like you," they were "less than human." The IDF brainwashing was to create obedient soldiers, asking no questions, emphasizing "the other is not like you."
Daphna saw them at first only as distant victims of war from which she had to create a narrative to support the state and not the reality. Born in Israel, she had "heard about" but not seen any Palestinians, supplying her definition to the "apartheid" nature of Israel. While working with Physicians for Human Rights somewhat later, she came across a little girl in a clinic where she was working. The girl asked her where she was from, and after saying she was Israeli, the girl's face showed the shock of knowing she was with the "enemy."
After his service Rafi returned to Gaza as a civilian to the Jabaliya refugee camp - and saw what he did not see as a soldier - human beings. He was "astounded" that although every Palestinian knew he had been in the army, he was "not met with hostility or the hatred I expected." It became at last, a human connection, and not an ideological one.
"There is nothing so whole as a broken heart."
After an upbringing inculcating a particular ideological dogma, it can only be traumatizing to some degree to have those beliefs either shattered or slowly chipped away. These former IDF members made the emotional journey from strong belief in the superiority of their religion - Zionism - and the superior morality of their military to become activists against Israeli war crimes and humanitarian crimes in Palestine. Many others have also taken this journey and it can be hoped that many more hearts will be broken in order to be made whole.
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