BE SAFE The Movie is a video modeling tool that parents, teachers, and staff can use to teach teens and adults with special needs how to interact safely with the police. When I needed a tool like it for my own son, there was really nothing like it out there. As the need for such a tool became more and more obvious, I decided to create it myself!
One key to making BE SAFE was being able to identify the kinds of skills young people need to learn to be safe. I had three sources for this skill list. The first source was what I learned from the police I trained. They were very clear about certain expectations they have when interacting with the public. They want us to stay where we are (not run) and cooperate (not fight), and so those are two of the most important messages of BE SAFE.
The next source for my skill list was the news. I was so upset by the stories of people with disabilities and mental illness having unfortunate or tragic encounters with police. I saw a pattern of certain things that went wrong, like the person reaching into a bag, or reaching for police equipment, or not following instructions. That is why we satisfy curiosity about police equipment in BE SAFE, while setting clear boundaries about not touching. We teach people to follow instructions and why you should always show the police your empty hands.
The third source was my circle of friends. After nearly two decades of involvement in the autism community, I know a lot of people on the spectrum and their families. As the children grew up, my phone began to ring, with parents asking me for help because something went very wrong in a police encounter. Things that happened to people I know inspired the BE SAFE lessons on the Right to Remain Silent and Disclosing a Disability to the Police.
I wrote my script in 2006, but did not film BE SAFE until 2013 when Joey Travolta and the students of Inclusion Films were ready to make it.
There has definitely been a need for this. And now, BE SAFE is out and about. How are you getting it to the people who need it, Emily?
When I was at a conference not long ago, Temple Grandin (probably the most famous person with autism in the world) took one look at BE SAFE and said, "You have got to get the word out there about this!" She told me to use social media and have the BE SAFE message go viral! It is taking a while to make that happen. But it is great when we get new Likes on FB and visitors to our website. We use our website to tell the BE SAFE story, and some media have picked it up.
Another way that people have learned about BE SAFE is through an event called an Interactive Screening. At a Be Safe Interactive Screening, we bring together the disability community and local police. We show scenes from BE SAFE The Movie and then do fun activities from the Companion Curriculum. We teach skills like following directions, asking for help, and respecting boundaries. What could be better than practicing those things with real police from your own neighborhood?
I am doing Interactive Screenings from Alaska to Mexico, and all sorts of organizations and groups are hosting the event. We are seeing some wonderful outcomes, in particular improving mutual understanding and reducing anxiety. That goes for the teens and adults with disabilities, their family members/teachers, and the police who are involved.
I understand that the curriculum Companion is quite extensive, with 300 pages of teaching material. That should prove very helpful. I'd like to return to your personal story now. What did you think before you knew that Tom had ASD?
As a first-time mom, I did not really know much about child development. Much of Tom's early development really was "normal," milestones and such. But when he was two, he stopped talking for nearly six months. I went to the pediatrician with a loose-leaf paper with three or four columns of all the words he used to say, and he lost all but six of them. I asked the doctor, "What's going on, why did he stop talking?" The doctor said, "Don't worry, he'll talk again". Sure enough, when Tom started talking again, we found he could also read and spell. We figured, oh, he stopped talking so he could listen and have a tremendous growth spurt in language. Afterwards, we called it the "pregnant pause," since it turned out something wonderful was coming. (That is now called precocious hyperlexia and is completely correlated to autism, as described in my third book, Drawing A Blank, inspired by this situation).
Once he was consumed with reading and spelling, that is all he did. He did not play with other kids and had many other observable differences (especially compared to the boy-and-girl twins who lived next door and were born on the exact same day, two hours after Tom). I thought all his difference was due to his genius. My sister Barbara was very ready to point out that I was wrong, and I insisted and resisted for a good four years, until it became clear he needed more help than I could give him, when kids started rejecting him and being cruel around 4th grade.
It must have been so painful to watch Tom going through grade school, picked on and rejected. Was it helpful to learn that he had a specific condition? What does he think about your career choice?
I think we both cried every day for many years. By this time, I had two other children, and some of the differences in Tom's development were clearer to my husband and me. Tom really wanted to fit in but did not know how to play with the other kids. He was fascinated with video games to the exclusion of just about everything else. He memorized the lines of entire movies and repeated them back as if they were his own words. He would get very upset by small things that went wrong, I remember he was inconsolable for almost an hour one day when a helium balloon flew off into the sky.
By this time, I was looking for answers, what was this pattern of differences called? While it was hard to accept at first, it was also a relief to call it autism because it explained what was going on and gave us hope to get help for him. Not long afterwards we prepared Tom bit by bit and then told him about his autism. He cried for a while but not much later came up to me and said, "You know Mom, this explains a lot."
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