This learning has been huge for me over the years. As an
individual, as a friend, and as a mom. To remember that we are all at a different
place in our growing-up and that there is no ending point. To remember that though another person would
have had the guts to say no at the age of fifteen, it didn't mean there was
something wrong with me that I was learning it when I was seventeen. We all
learn different lessons at different times, and they seem to be the same
lessons over and over and over, just with more awareness and understanding that
comes with experience, making the lessons bigger and more all-encompassing.
It also meant a lot to me that, had I not been challenged by
a random stranger on the phone, I may not have discovered exactly what we were
up to until I was more deeply involved. Till I felt the need to look at it only
from how I benefit, as the sales man who spilled the beans to me must have. It
reminds me to share what I know with others, always with kindness (if he had
yelled at me, I likely would not have listened) and always with an understanding
that they may not know. And that they
may just now be ready to.
I have made most of those same mistakes over and over in my
life. Not asking for information when things seem a little off, not saying "no'
to horny old men, not stepping-up when I see things that seem wrong, doing
things only to seem grown-up or nice or smart or open-minded. But I have also
done them less and less, and gotten better at forgiving myself and sharing with
honesty.
I am spending a lifetime spinning in circles and learning
from myself. And I'll admit, it's a dance I enjoy!
Author's note:
Inspiration for this piece came from listening to the song CRAZY
TO SANE by Lynette Louise. The lyrics 'Spinning in circles and laughing
to myself' had me laughing AT myself, and wanting to share!
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