For many things in life we need to decide on thresholds to separate two classes. For example, in some schools a grade of 90 or above counts as an 'A'. That's somewhat arbitrary, but not completely arbitrary. Other schools decree that 92 or above is an 'A'.
Similarly, in the law, there are semi-arbitrary cutoffs. If you steal less than, say, $100, you may get one punishment. If you steal more than the threshold, you might get a worse punishment. There's nothing magical about $100.
Likewise, if you drive faster than 60 miles per hour on some particular road, the police may give you a speeding ticket. Why not 62 mph or 58 mph? Well, the decision is somewhat arbitrary, but it's based on a variety of considerations (including the fact that 60 is a nice round number).
The fact that there's no clear difference between an 'A' and a 'B' doesn't imply that all grades are 'A's or all grades are 'B's. Likewise, for different grades of crimes and different sorts of traffic violations.
Likewise, it's somewhat arbitrary to say that life begins at three months, as opposed to two months, or four months. But it's always like this for things that are gradual -- for things that have a continuous gradation ("a smudgy line").
Right after conception the embryo is not viable, not conscious, and hence not inherently precious. The fact that there's no clear line certainly does not imply that we have to draw the line at conception; it just means that if we need to set a precise line, its position will be somewhat arbitrary.
Even the presence of a heartbeat and the presence of primitive neural activity don't imply that the embryo is significantly conscious. What's needed is a developed nervous system with higher brain activity.
In summary, the criterion of being conscious is fuzzy (imprecise) but not totally arbitrary. Some things are definitely unconscious, some things are clearly conscious. There's a continuum from complete unconsciousness (rock or fertilized egg) to full consciousness (laughing child). To decide when (precious) human life begins, we need to decide on a cutoff. For someone like me who thinks that preciousness involves consciousness, abortion is quite reasonable: close to conception, consciousness is absent or extremely primitive.
Decreeing the meaning of life and deathNow, given the chance, voters or the courts could decide on any legal definition of "human life" that they want. We're discussing what they should decide. Some people want the legal definition to imply that life begins at conception. Others might want the definition to specify that life begins when there's a heartbeat. Others want a definition that specifies that life begins much later.
I don't think there is a definite correct answer, just as there's no definite correct answer about what is and isn't pornography. Consciousness and personhood are not all-or-nothing, although for legal purposes we may need to decide on a somewhat arbitrary threshold.
The case is similar with end of life questions. There is disagreement about what precisely constitutes brain death, but the general idea is that when there's no brain activity, and when the nerve cells have become irreparably damaged, it's OK to withdraw life support. Opinions differ as to whether it's sufficient for the higher brain centers to be dead or whether the lower brain centers too must be dead. Indeed, people who believe that abortion is murder tend to hold stricter views about how completely brain activity must be absent before the person is declared dead.
The case of embryos is in many ways opposite to that of the dying person. A dying person has a history of consciousness -- with memories, friendships, hopes, and dreams. So, it's reasonable to err on the side of safety and set a strict criterion about brain death, since a revived person would be able to recover consciousness. In contrast, a fertilized egg (like an unfertilized egg and sperm) has no history of consciousness at all, but it has a large potential for new, future consciousness.
What's in a word? Changing the usage of wordsI can hear an anti-abortion activist saying, "Come on! Human life begins at conception. You're murdering an unborn person, an innocent child." My response is: you're trying to change the common usage of our words. People generally reserve the words "child" and "person" to refer to humans who've already been born and who are conscious (or have a history of consciousness). Nobody ever bothered calling an embryo an "unborn child" until pro-life, religious activists thought to do so. The reason is clear: there are significant differences between an embryo and a child.
Of course, sometimes people do change how they use words.
At some point in history, scientists realized that the evening star and the morning star were the same thing (Venus). Scientists could give a reasonable explanation about why the change was appropriate and about why the word usage should change.
Thanks to Einstein, people came to believe that energy and matter are really the same thing.
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