"That was our co-pilot Dick Cheney reminding me that our estimated time of arrival is 3 weeks, 5 hours and 17 minutes. In the meantime, we've opened the bar. Enjoy."
[Very long interval.]
"Ah, good morning ladies and gentleman. This is your Captain George Bush again. My crew informs me that we may not be able to land at Baghdad until after our retirement date. We're studying our maps to find the best place is to land in order to take on a replacement crew. We'll be back to you."
"Ah good afternoon ladies and Gentleman. My crew and I have decided to land at the Iman Khomeini International Airport at Tehran. Once we land we'll begin spreading democracy. We believe that you'll have a grand time in Iran, as they just love Americans there. We're still at 35,000 feet and expect smooth sailing. We should arrive in 1 week, 11 hours and 37 minutes. We'll let you know when we're about to turn on the seatbelt sign prior to our landing. Once again, our thanks for joining us on Bush World Airways, where you always fly in comfort no matter where you are going."
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