Don't Ask. Don't Tell. SHOW.

"Have you ever cheated on your spouse?"

Maybe none of them ever cheated on their spouse, just as some of the people the CIA have water-boarded were not terrorists after all. But hey, guilty people always deny guilt when first asked, so one must ask repeatedly, water-board them repeatedly until they cough up the assumption(s) -- true or otherwise.

Here's how I imagine these demonstration sessions would go:

Senator Minority Leader,  Mitch McConnell, is strapped to a water-board in the well of the Senate. Interrogators lay a terry cloth towel over his face, lean the board back and begin pouring copious amounts of water over the towel. As the towel becomes soaked Senator McConnell finds it impossible to breathe. He coughs, then starts choking. He tries to turn his head to each side but blocks prevent it. He struggles but his hands and legs are strapped to the board.  He suddenly realizes he's on for the full ride.

Just as the Senator appears ready to black out, the two interrogators  remove the towel and raise the board. A doctor checks the Senators' pulse and blood pressure. In a couple of seconds McConnell is coughing, spitting and breathing again.

The senator opens his eyes showing real panic as they dart from side to side.

Interrogator: "Have you ever cheated on your wife?."

Sen. McConnell: "No, no, really, I never did. Never did. So, fine. I see how it works. Now please untie me."

Interrogator:  "Ah, not in the mood to talk yet. Okay, have it your way, Senator.  Jack, lower the board again."

Sen. McConnell:  "Whoa fellas! Not again. No. Wait. Please wait. Okay. Fine. Yes,  yes, sure I cheated. Yep I did. Now untie me."

Interrogator: "Not so fast, partner. All you've told us so far is that -- as we suspected -- you cheated on your wife. Now we need to know how many times and with whom."

Sen. McConnell: "Okay guys, this has gone far enough. I get the point. It's torture. People will say anything to get you to stop. Okay. I get it.  Whatya want me to say and I'll say it. Now let me off this damn board."

Interrogator: Oh, I wish it was  that easy, Senator. But when we water-board suspected terrorists we are told we must connect the dots. You remember connecting the dots, don't you?  If we let everyone off for giving us a nugget or two, well, that wouldn't do at all, now would it? We have to finish our interrogation. Now, one more time Senator, how many times did you cheat and we want names."

Senator McConnell: "Never and with nobody. This is stupid!. I just said that so you'd untie me."

Interrogator: "Okay Jack, lower the board."

Senator McConnell: No, no, NO! Wait. Okay. Many times. More than I can count. You wanna know with who? Okay,  I did Madeline Albright, Helen Keller, Mother Teresa, (twice, missionary position, of course,) -- Ophra, Jackie Kennedy.... ah, all the DC Madams' hookers and, one night -- while Larry Craig and I were out drinking -- a strangely attractive ewe. Now, let me go!