Every day, the programming is reinforced: The “vicarious learning” helplessness comes in here. Newscasts about “bad guys”- foreign and domestic - with red explosion graphics, teaser warnings, and knit-browed, spray-tanned commentators, commentary which tweaks frustration levels and triggers fight or flight responses in its viewers, articles discussing unacceptable actions of political figures with a sigh of “boys will be boys” resignation, pundits who pretend that the rule of law is just a quirky little impedance to “Progress”- “moneymaking”-, skeptical attitudes of commentators towards ideas or methods that step out of their program, the artificial separations that are created between us- all of these little mind games have contributed to the general “helplessness” disease.
There are many more facets to the sparkly plastic jewel that has us all hypnotized into learned helplessness but I’ll leave it to you the reader to explore all of the areas of your own particular programming for yourself. That is not the main thing I’m here to write about, but only an example stone in the wall that’s been built between us and our future.
For those of us raised inside the Daddy/Mommy Machine, we have to hearken back to our childhoods, when our dreams and hopes got beaten out of us. We were taught that our aspirations are impractical or wrong. We were taught that money was the most important thing, that it was important to be royalty, as opposed to noble, that pretending to be honorable while sneakily beating the system - aka “winning”- would make us happy, and that conformity was paramount. We were taught that what we want out of life is what they’re selling, that working hard and doing what is expected of us in order to get it is “the good life” - and that happiness can only be obtained “through channels.” “Responsibility” was a bludgeon towards conformity, we were never taught “response ability”- the free exploration of options.
Winning at the Daddy/Mommy Machine’s game was dependant on House Rules - and anybody who’s ever been to Vegas knows that the House always wins. The hope that one will someday win the jackpot if one just puts enough nickels into the right Slot Machine - down to the very last nickel - is called a “gambling addiction” when it’s done in a casino. It is no less delusional to use up one’s life-force in a corporate-controlled social structure.
Because we were programmed to play their game and to believe that we’re helpless, the Slot Machine kept running. We fed that Daddy/Mommy Machine, waited for the big payout, and used up our life force on things that do not matter and will not bring us joy. We spent decades burning ourselves out, using our precious short time on the planet kowtowing to bosses who didn’t care about us at jobs that didn’t matter for money that wouldn’t last that paid for things that broke and disappeared. And in the end the jobs disappeared as well.
Many, many people have been crushed by the discrepancy between the illusions and the realities of this system over the years, many more have used up their lives trying to live up to the unreal expectations the system created. “Mid-life crises,” stress-related diseases, destroyed ecosystems and a cancer epidemic were symptoms of the much larger disease, but nobody was willing to recognize what that was. We were reassured that these were anomalies, not symptoms. We were told that whatever was wrong came from the individual, not the system.
Dysfunctional families are subconsciously complicit in their dysfunction. Usually there’s a “rebel child,” one kid who feels something’s wrong. Even though they don’t know how to fix it, they continually call attention to the problem by acting out or acting in. We’ve had many rebel children in our dysfunctional Daddy/Mommy Machine family over the years. We’ve tended to beat the crap out of them until they shut up, died, or conformed. Those who were successful in their efforts to combat some part of the Daddy/Mommy Machine were, in good Borg fashion, assimilated into the mythology.
People around us who’ve been good little “children,” complicit in the dysfunction, rewarded for their behavior – are right now tending to demand continued complicity in the now-nakedly dysfunctional game. For some, they’re still waiting for their payoff- Daddy/Mommy’s Little Man to the end. For others, they cannot let go of the illusion - cannot admit that their world isn’t what they were told it is. This is a moment of sheer terror for them. The recognition of how totally we’ve been scammed is so huge, the notion that this mythical Daddy/Mommy does not actually exist but is in fact a Machine is so awful - the mere thought is a nihilistic abyss to them.
The important part to remember is that it IS all an illusion, and always was. It was used to render the majority of us quiescent while the robbers went about perpetrating their scams. We were taught that the Daddy/Mommy Machine would take care of us, that trusting in false ideals rather than the rule of law, common sense, and the common ideals of Humanity would tide us through even the gross negligence and incompetence that these supposed “parents” were displaying. Those who questioned these self-appointed “parents” were all but cast out of the nation by some for being “disloyal.”
Now that the illusionary Machine is weakened, we have the responsibility to prevent its resurrection. We have the opportunity to, as President Obama said in his inaugural speech, “put away childish things.”
It is on us to ditch the lies and illusions of the Daddy/Mommy Machine and empower ourselves as individuals. We must build - not an ersatz dysfunctional family with lying “parental” idols whose real function is our subjugation - but a democratic nation of families comprised of functioning thinking citizens - and hopefully a once-again respected member of the family of nations.
This is the moment where we absolutely must all grow up, and demand that our neighbors and friends grow up with us. This is the moment where we can see most clearly how the fairy tale of the Daddy/Mommy system has only been used by criminals to harm and control us.
By erasing this mythology of Beneficent Parental Rulers, by demanding equal standing for all, by expecting fair and open governance and the rule of law, and by requiring ourselves to be clear-eyed adult participants in our Democracy, we will find that we can no longer be victimized.
When we were going through our family’s divorce I told my children that I would always be there for them in any way I could, no matter what, even though what they were used to was changing, even though I’d have to work long hours in construction to support them and pay our way, I’d make time for them. They were my priority. I also told them that it was my job to work myself out of the job. That’s what a mother does - raises competent functioning adults who are ready to go out into the world and make their own way.
I also told them that they’d have to stick together - that in the end, as long as they have each other, they will always have a family.
Now I’m telling you, my human brothers and sisters, the same thing. We can do this. We have each other. We are family. We will grow up together. We will find our way. Our priority right now is to care for one another and our nation, and weather this storm.
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