"And that you would have committed a felony if you didn't report my felony?"
"Yes."
"Well, Ms. Kim," he said, "I think our only recourse is for you to report that I lost the paperwork. That way neither of us gets in trouble."
"But you didn't. I mean, you just told me it was an error, that you never had the screening."
"Sure, but nobody has to know. Besides, what would you do if I'd told you I'd lost the papers? How would it get resolved?"
"I'm not sure. After all, the database supposedly has everything in it. If you insisted that you had the test, and it wasn't there, then the alternative would have to be that whoever ran the test never reported it, or maybe it got lost some other way."
"So, is it a felony if someone else lost it? Wouldn't they just go after someone else in the alleged chain of custody?"
"I hadn't really thought about it, but you're probably right. In any case, unless there's some record of where the screening was done, there wouldn't be anyone to go after."
Barry stopped pacing. "Are you suggesting that we insert a note about where the screening was performed?"
"Well," she said tentatively, "it would get us both off the hook."
+ - - - + - - - +
Having fabricated an explanation for Barry's missing medical file, the two put the matter out of their minds, unaware that their spur-of-the-moment conspiracy would have far-ranging effects. Initially, the issue simply moved to another venue, where a second-shift medical center admin, afraid to commit a felony by leaving the request for paperwork for a DNA screening that could not have taken place, since the equipment had been down for repairs on the date in the claim, verified the existence of the procedure, but noted that the record was somewhere among the backups that had been lost in a fire.
This, of course, laid the blame for the lost file on the disaster recovery firm that was responsible for maintaining the backups. And that's where the conspiracy ran off the rails, because the medical center had outsourced that project to an overseas company, which of course made it a matter for the State Department to resolve.
The first sign of trouble occurred at the start of business for the overseas contractor, when they discovered that every one of their US-based financial services accounts had been frozen. Several frantic phone calls later, their VP for US Contracts had managed to track down the intergovernmental liaison office at State, and had begun grilling the unsuspecting low-level clerk who had answered the phone.
"Are you trying to tell me," he said angrily, "that our accounts have been locked because someone claims there's a missing file on one of our backups?"
"Well, yeah," she said, with an exasperated tone that telegraphed her unspoken "duh'. "I'm sure you're familiar with the terms under which your company is permitted to conduct business from overseas. State can't go after any assets that are in institutions based offshore. These accounts, however, are held with domestic companies. So I suggest you get your IT people on it rather than wasting my time. Does that clear it up for you, sir?"
"Yes."
"Well, Ms. Kim," he said, "I think our only recourse is for you to report that I lost the paperwork. That way neither of us gets in trouble."
"But you didn't. I mean, you just told me it was an error, that you never had the screening."
"I'm not sure. After all, the database supposedly has everything in it. If you insisted that you had the test, and it wasn't there, then the alternative would have to be that whoever ran the test never reported it, or maybe it got lost some other way."
"So, is it a felony if someone else lost it? Wouldn't they just go after someone else in the alleged chain of custody?"
"I hadn't really thought about it, but you're probably right. In any case, unless there's some record of where the screening was done, there wouldn't be anyone to go after."
Barry stopped pacing. "Are you suggesting that we insert a note about where the screening was performed?"
"Well," she said tentatively, "it would get us both off the hook."
+ - - - + - - - +
Having fabricated an explanation for Barry's missing medical file, the two put the matter out of their minds, unaware that their spur-of-the-moment conspiracy would have far-ranging effects. Initially, the issue simply moved to another venue, where a second-shift medical center admin, afraid to commit a felony by leaving the request for paperwork for a DNA screening that could not have taken place, since the equipment had been down for repairs on the date in the claim, verified the existence of the procedure, but noted that the record was somewhere among the backups that had been lost in a fire.
This, of course, laid the blame for the lost file on the disaster recovery firm that was responsible for maintaining the backups. And that's where the conspiracy ran off the rails, because the medical center had outsourced that project to an overseas company, which of course made it a matter for the State Department to resolve.
The first sign of trouble occurred at the start of business for the overseas contractor, when they discovered that every one of their US-based financial services accounts had been frozen. Several frantic phone calls later, their VP for US Contracts had managed to track down the intergovernmental liaison office at State, and had begun grilling the unsuspecting low-level clerk who had answered the phone.
"Are you trying to tell me," he said angrily, "that our accounts have been locked because someone claims there's a missing file on one of our backups?"
"Well, yeah," she said, with an exasperated tone that telegraphed her unspoken "duh'. "I'm sure you're familiar with the terms under which your company is permitted to conduct business from overseas. State can't go after any assets that are in institutions based offshore. These accounts, however, are held with domestic companies. So I suggest you get your IT people on it rather than wasting my time. Does that clear it up for you, sir?"
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