By 2016, I had also done considerable damage to the wall myself while trying to prove the unaffirming stance of my youth. I had spent the better part of a decade trying to concretely prove that LGBTQ+ individuals were living in sin and against God, but my years of work in the original languages, ancient culture, and deep study had only served to weaken my stance...and in turn, weaken my wall.
Most of what I had been told and taught about God and the LGBTQ+ community was false, if not outright deception.
I didn't know how to deal with that, so I avoided that area of the wall as best I could.
Enter Donald Trump
I saw Donald as the savior of my conservatism.
As such, I was on the Trump bandwagon before he was ever an official candidate. I had been a fan of The Apprentice, and I appreciated his no-nonsense style. I got caught up in his political-outsider tone, his style of rhetoric, and ashamedly, the barely-veiled hate and toxicity he wielded.
In retrospect, I can see that Trump stroked the same strings on the guitar played by my childhood fundamentalist icons. He tapped into the same rhetoric, fears, and bigotry that was embedded in the bedrock of my foundation.
Trump's voice resonated in the depths of my dark soul.
...it resonated in places that I thought were redeemed and controlled by Christ, but I was wrong. There was no Christ in those caverns. I had walled them off from Him.
Trump masterfully stoked and rekindled the fires of my conservatism, ...not my Christianity, but my Conservatism.
I simply could not tell the difference between the two...yet.
So I supported Trump blindly, without question, because I needed to.
I needed him.
He was the only thing that stood in between me and the collapse of my wall.
Too many bricks had been removed from it over the years, and I simply wasn't ready to deal with the ramifications of its collapse.
So to be clear: In the 2016 Presidential Election, I cast my vote for Donald J. Trump in both the Primary and General Election.
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