"Ramon Ramon Ramon was named after his Mother and his Father. His name was also Ramon. He worked very hard as a collection man in Tegucigalpa Honduras for a furniture and appliance store. He had a very stocky build. His hands were meaty and he had an extraordinarily thick neck. Fortunately for him his appearance was enough of a deterrence -- he was much more like the Cowardly Lion than Tony Montana. His wife would say when asked about him, "El es mucho mas como pan dulce que una vibora,"--he is much more like sweet bread than a poisonous snake.
So, when he finally saved up enough money to buy a house for himself and his wife he was not expecting or immediately equipped to deal with a rather large lizard that was already living in the house. He tried shooing the lizard away. He called his Uncle, the taxidermist, inquiring about lizard traps. He sprayed the lizard with shaken bottles of Dr. Pepper. He borrowed a friend's 9mm, but he couldn't pull the trigger. He sprinkled black pepper all over the house, then spent hours cleaning it back up. He paid a local curandera to come over and make incantations, burn candles and rattle armadillo shells full of gravel, nothing.
This is the story of how Ramon eventually coexisted with the lizard and saved a world gone completely mad..." From "Ramon and the Lizard: A story of Redemption" By Franklin Cincinnatus
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