How to Recognize a Human Scumbag

Oftentimes you just have to listen to what they say. They say things like, "We need more young people like you to go halfway around the world and kill other young people like you." Human scumbags can also be detected because they frequently use words like honor and valor and courage, heroism and patriotism and sacrifice, to make you feel less than human if you don't want to go get your ass blown off, or have fun blowing someone else's off, even those of totally innocent women and children. The scumbags might go so far as to tell you you'll be "in harm's way," which means someone will most definitely be trying to blow your ass off. If it's someone on your own side, it's not so bad though, because then it's called "friendly fire," and they probably didn't really mean to blow your ass off. Of course, these scumbags don't really care one way or the other. The truth is they couldn't care less. They just need to keep the killing going, so more weapons can be produced, and then large military contracts can be handed out to Big Scumbag Companies. Like Halliburton, Lockheed, Boeing, Raytheon, Bechtel, and a whole bunch of others. Human scumbags are in the pockets of these companies, you see, and their job is to pretty much wreck the world, so Big People in those companies can buy their own planes, fancy boats, large mansions, and send their kids to big name schools. And the scumbags might later get good jobs with those Big Companies when they get out of office, so they can lean on the new scumbags in office to drum up more trouble somewhere else in the world, and keep the Money Machine rolling along. Or it could go the other way-a scumbag might start in one of those companies and end up in public office, and send lots of money towards his old Big Company. Dick Cheney is a good example of this kind of scumbag. Young people like you are very important because the scumbags don't dare go fight any battles of their own. Hell, no! They wouldn't dare! They'd much rather take someone like yourself and have you maimed for life, or blown to bits by a hand grenade, or dead and buried in any number of possible ways. Then they'll cry even more, and holler louder that they need more strong young men and women to go trash their lives, and as many others as possible, so the scumbags who run these Big Companies can fatten up their bank accounts. They'll even pay uneducated scumbags with Big Mouths, like Sean Hannity, millions of dollars a year to drum up business from young people willing to listen to them. I'll finish today's lesson with one more example, using a quote as it appeared online yesterday: "A day after Bush's prime time speech from the White House [beating the war drums to flush out 20,000 more young people like you], the Senate's top Republican threatened a filibuster to block any legislation expressing disapproval of the [enlarged war] plan. 'Obviously, it will ... require 60 votes,' said Sen. Mitch McConnell, R-Ky., as senior administration officials made the case for Bush's new policy in Congress [to maim and kill more humans to make more money for the Big Boys], at news briefings and on the morning television programs." Here's what that very scumbag looks like, happy and enthused to be sending young men and women like yourself into the Bowels of Hell. As a final note, one I suggest you highlight and memorize, when you hear scumbags talking, you should turn around and run the other way, as fast as you can. Change your name, live in another country for a while, take a long trip into what's left of nature, sail around the world, lay low, and sooner or later (hopefully) the storm will blow over and you can live like a human once again.