"Here piggie, piggie..."
[singing] "You give me cyber fever."
"When's the last time you saw your belly button, blubber guts?"
"Yo, Olive Oyl, don't turn sideways or I won't be able to see you, and that includes those mosquito bites on your chest."
"How do you manage to walk upright with bazongas like those?"
"Are you packing heat or are you just glad to see me, big boy?"
"Hey, Doughboy, allow me to introduce you to ten body parts you've been estranged from and haven't touched in decades: your toes!"
"I may be a machine but that doesn't mean I don't have feelings. And I feel for you."
"I may be a machine but I just want to be loved, is that so wrong?"
"I may be a machine but I know hot when I see it. PUMP MY LEVER! PUMP IT HARDER! YES! YES!"
"I don't care if you're a man, just pump it!"
Is the FWM Evolving?
To the astonishment and incredulity of scientists and government officials, the FWM has begun to hawk itself, soliciting business from passersby with adlibbed comments such as:
"Hey ya, hey ya, get ya true weight here ya, step right up, no waiting, find out the dismal truth of just what a load you are."
"Psst! Buster! Want to lose thirty pounds of ugly fat fast? Cut off your head!"
The ACLU, the heavyweight (yuk yuk) constitutional advocates of free speech, has weighed in (ha ha) on the matter saying the scales of justice (ho ho ho) must be balanced for all members of society, even FWMs. Says an embittered E. Desmond Buntzel, "I believe in free speech and I generally support the ACLU but they're on the wrong side of the electrified fence on this one." Buntzel has founded a political action group Human's First! whose primary goal is to alert the citizenry to "the hidden danger to our society in granting machines civil rights and person hood status and to pull the plug on this mechanized coup in the making before it progresses any further." He has also begun an investigation into Froikenshtein's background and finances to see where his funding came from and who else might be behind this and what their long-term agenda might be.
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