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OpEdNews Op Eds    H3'ed 9/24/19

Back to French tear gas in the morning: smells like auste'rite'

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Ramin Mazaheri
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I can't stand covering ecological protests - what a waste of time.

Firstly, climate change requires a cooperative solution on an international level, and obviously capitalism is predicated on competition at an international level. Therefore, there is no reason at all to do a damned thing about environmental issues - the only solution is to get socialism first. No socialism? Then no possible climate solution.

Secondly, is climate change a news beat which is not being covered enough already? Hardly - there are 900 billion Western journalists who simply adore covering this story. I note that the roughly 900 billion climate change articles in Western media on any given Tuesday hasn't done much good. Don't tell that to the eco-freaks, though - they think they're God's favourite servants.

Definitely don't point out to them that the 1% just adores you wasting your political energy on climate change instead of class issues. Climate change is inherently neutered of any class aspect: billionaires and homeless alike all litter or leave a "climate impact" (or whatever) or don't compost properly.

Climate change protests are thus so very, very useless that I cannot give a damn, and the protesters directly acknowledged this: they had one big ballon, which read "Give a f***". Classy. And they're the only ones who give a f***, right?

Smug punks. And climate change protesters are punks with a capital P - too many examples to list, but here's a quick few:

The presence of alcohol at French political demonstrations is lamentable - this is not a party - but only at eco-protests do you see Champagne.

The presence of loud music at protests - instead of loudly-chanted slogans or even silence - is" acceptable, I guess. But for many people Saturday wasn't a protest but a rave, celebrating Mother Earth - techno music boomed it's 4-on-the-floor "pound my tiny soul into submission" with the idiot hipster/bobo DJ calmly, slowly saying (for the people there on ecstasy or MDMA) "Feeeeeeeeeeel the earth". don't let it die." Nothing says "I protest" like dancing during a protest march.

The presence of mimes at protests" can only happen in France, of course. I have no idea what political purpose they served, but I must admit they were amusing. I must also admit I was hoping they would also be tackled by cops for their very minor vandalisms, because they they would have to say something. Mimes are a good symbol for ecological protesters in general: they are there to be seen. And, I'd add, to feel good about and receive praise for their nonsensical works.

The presence of tear gas at ecological protests is not expected because WHAT a buzzkill, amirite? When the first tear gas flew the eco-warriors were so panicked thousands of them all ran in the wrong direction" and just kept marching that way. LOL, later comrades!

That was a new one. But I was hopeful, because instead of heading in the exact opposite direction of the Champs (as the eco-route had planned), they were now heading toward it - let's retake the Champs, yes!

No, eco-warriors planned to march in the exact opposite direction of the Champs (east, not west) and they were determined to make sure they stayed away from any possible conflict with cops that could create bad karma/force them to shower (the tear gas off) later. Eventually, the thousands all just turned around and marched in the proper direction. Inwardly, they were likely too egotistical to ask themselves if they looked like idiots.

Black Bloc must have got the address wrong

The violence which spooked the eco-kooks was provided by Black Bloc. We had arrived just in time to see it happen:

The usual. Targeted vandalism against banks, real estate agencies (10,000 euros per square meter now in Paris, so believe me when I say that my landlord - whom I have made rich - can take a long walk off a short pier), and sexist ads (lotta Black Bloc are women).

There was a twist, and you gotta admit Black Bloc is up on things: they attacked the Egyptian Central Centre" obviously in solidarity with the anti-Sisi protests in Egypt going on that day. These Blocers were up on the news, found out the Egyptian Cultural Centre was on the eco-route, and took action. I got that wrong in this live interview from the scene among the debris - maybe Black Blocers could do my job better? Cut me some slack - live interviews are hard: I got it right in time for the day's official report.

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Ramin Mazaheri is currently covering the US elections. He is the chief correspondent in Paris for Press TV and has lived in France since 2009. He has been a daily newspaper reporter in the US, and has reported from Iran, Cuba, Egypt, Tunisia, (more...)
 

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Back to French tear gas in the morning: smells like auste'rite'

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