It was not the first time, nor the last, that I asked a question and
received the same response. I told Vanunu that I would then tell his
story to America, because I believed that when USA Christians learned
the truth about him, everything would change for Vanunu and Palestine.
Vanunu looked at me like I was crazy, smiled and said good luck. I told
him I didn't need luck, I needed a miracle and good thing was that I
believed in them too, for at the time, I was clueless as to what an
impossible mission I had taken-to try to raise awareness about Israeli
injustice...
One of the very first questions I ever asked Vanunu was if he chose the
name John Crossman because of St. John of the Cross, the Spanish mystic
poet and Carmelite brother who was an ardent disciple of Theresa of
Avilla's reforms.
Vanunu replied, "I haven't read him."
Not many have, and even fewer understand what he was talking about. John
and Theresa greatly agitated the church hierarchy during the time of
the Spanish Inquisition for exercising their rights of freedom of
conscience, thought, speech and the press, for both were prolific
writers. John was slandered and abused for his views and spent months in
prison in solitary praying and writing.
In 2005, Vanunu told me, "In 1963 the Zionists came to my village and encouraged
everyone to migrate to Israel"When we arrived in Israel, the Interior
Minister assigned us to Beersheba...there was only desert, but I walked a
few hours everyday so I could be in the Old City. I started exploring
around a Mexican-looking town, never talking with anyone, but always
watching everyone.
"Even the school supplies were inferior to those I had had in Morocco.
Even the ice cream was not ice cream; it was just ice, and there was no
Pepsi. I didn't like it at all, and wondered why I had to be there.
There were only Jewish people around; I never saw an Arab or Palestinian
then, and the old mosque was uninhabited.
"I preferred to be alone, but I was never lonely. Even when I walked
with my father on Saturday to pray, I didn't talk, but I wondered about
God and truth. My father became even more orthodox as I turned away. I
couldn't accept all the teachings and decided I would not accept any of
them.
"At fourteen years old, I began to doubt, and by sixteen, I left Judaism
for good. I didn't know if God even existed, and I didn't even care. I
decided I would decide for myself what is good and what is bad; I didn't
need anyone telling me the rules. For me, it was about doing to others
what I wanted them to do to me. I didn't need any other rule.
"I was sent to Yeshiva, the Jewish boarding school in the Old City. I
experienced a great disconnect from God. I didn't talk to anyone about
any of it. I kept everything within and continued to wonder about
finding my way, my direction, and the purpose of my life. I have always
searched for answers.
"I kept my mouth shut about not following the faith and excelled in
secular studies. With everything else, I just went through the motions"I
was angry"I had become [an] outcast" forever ignored by the other
students. The isolation became very comfortable, and I began walking in
the desert alone every night without any fear. I would just walk around
and imagine that I would find my way, and have some success."
John of the Cross knew freedom and contentment in every circumstance. His every thought, deed and action rose up from within his heart/conscience and poured out of him in actions, prose and poetry; the visible expressions of his love for God and god in all people. John of the Cross wrote about the soul united with God and he express in words, what is inexpressible: a mystical experience.
All are called to be mystics; and like the prophets, mystics are misunderstood and misinterpreted.
While imprisoned, John of the Cross penned poetry to express God's Agape love for all; pure, perfect and transforming when it becomes sacrificial love: love in action-doing something compelled by compassion to help another at great cost to oneself and doing it all for love of God first, which also leads to love of everyone else.
In paraphrase of Jesus, no greater love is there that of the one who has
lay down his/her life; agenda for another-be it enemy or friend.
In 1987, from Ashkelon Prison, Vanunu wrote: "I have no choice. I'm a little man, a citizen, one of the people, but I'll do what I have to. I've heard the voice of my conscience and there's nowhere to hide."
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