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How to Create a New World Order

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Roland Michel Tremblay
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And once everyone is well on their way to be assimilated, keeping to French as the only main language in the world, I will have turn to preventing the Seven Years' War, which basically could be qualified as the real First World War. I will have to drop a few bombs all around any army still fighting or moving toward another nation, without killing any of them. I will have to install my big hegemony upon the world. And if one country truly cannot get the message, I might as well just annihilate it. Spain comes to mind. Others will get the message.

I'm already becoming quite the monster in my plans to build a new world order. I came to understand that perhaps there is no way really to save the world or help the planet on a global scale without becoming a tyrant. But the worst is still to come, because once peace has been established in the whole world, even if I decided that the aboriginal people could keep the Americas, New Zealand and Australia, to see how these first nations could develop in time into great nations if we had not interfered, it still remains that I would need to eradicate injustices and provide human rights to all. And what about capitalism versus socialism?

My small town in Quebec is now in control of the whole world, it is time to pay a visit to all the Kings and Queens of Europe and other powers of the world, to teach them a few concepts that even today we find hard to grasp, like democracy and human rights. Am I to suggest to them to move aside and become simply a symbol like in England, and order them to create a Parliament of elected officials to take care of business?

We kind of tried that recently in Iraq and Afghanistan, it does not seem to have worked out the way we planned. Perhaps because we have forgotten what democracy truly means, we obviously control those governments and so they are not exactly democratic. What can you expect, elections in America are no longer trustworthy, electoral fraud has taken over. That is not the biggest worry though, it is that no matter who is in power, as proven by the extremely poor track record of such an idealist as Barack Obama, the situation in the United States and worldwide just got even worse.

We can't have that in 1754, my new world order will be a true democracy, and all these countries will eventually stay home and govern themselves the way they want. Even though the only way I can see this ever happening, would be to actually babysit them until they get there, and then, I suppose, babysit them even more to ensure the perfect and ideal world we all hope for. It could easily become a tyranny one way or another, even with the best intentions, as soon as we interfere anywhere in the world.

So no problem, I already have in mind the creation of the New United Nations, headquarters in the extreme north of Quebec's province (near the North Pole, where everything and everyone is already frozen to death), so I will be able to keep a close eye on everything they do. The aims of my new UN will be the same as today: facilitating cooperation in international law, international security, economic development, social progress, human rights, and the achieving of world peace.

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