The problem with that heartfelt plea is that the only thing the person hears is "die." And because the person is stressed (even if he is unconscious), that suggestion is more readily received. It is so much wiser to simply say, "As I put this compress on your wound, your wound can start to heal and knit together," providing the person with the imagery he needs to help himself rather than increase the sense of fear.
Children are even more suggestible and imaginative by nature, so what we say has an even greater weight.
For this reason, we call these moments "healing zones" to remind us that they are opportunities for healing and that our words have special impacts.
Suggestions for Safety
From the first moment of life, every cell in a child wants to know: "Am I safe?"
In a crisis--whether that's a skinned knee, an asthma attack, or a nightmare--we are their first source of information. Is it bad? Am I dying? Will it hurt? Is the monster still there? What do I do with this feeling in my leg? What do I do with this fear in my heart?
Our presence is our first opportunity for reassurance. If we panic, they are lost in their own complex of emotions and sensations. Remember--all the emotions and experiences we've named over the years, all the thoughts and feelings we've been able to categorize and understand--all of those are new to children. They don't know what they mean no less what to do with them so that they can not only survive the experience but thrive.
Our words at critical moments can change an autonomic response in seconds. Here is a typical Verbal First Aidà "ž scenario to demonstrate what it can do in a common childhood crisis--a burn.
Miquela, only 5 years old, has been wanting to cook like her daddy. This time, instead of waiting like she was always taught, she grabs the pot handle and it falls, splattering hot water all over the floor. After a moment, she notices that some of that water got on her hand. As her dad rushes into the room, she realizes that the water was hot and it burns. She starts to cry.
Instead of admonishing her for not listening, dad scoops her up and says, "You really wanted to be like daddy today, huh, sweetheart"Let's see what's going on""
"Owie!!!!!" Miquela cries, showing him her arm.
"Oh, honey, I see the red owie"That was a hot pot, huh?"
He checks her over and finds that there were no other injuries. So, he starts to distract her as he begins using standard first aid protocols--gathering clean cloths, running cool (not cold) water, etc"
"Well, let's see now-- he says calmly and sets her on a chair in front of him as he kneels. "How's your knee?" He lifts it up so they can both examine it.
"Okay-- Miquela says through tears, but substantially less frightened.
"And your left elbow?"
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