Senior Uses Humor and Creativity to Leaven Pandemic Self-Quarantine

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says, "Okay, let's get started."

Today, a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave him a glass of water.

I changed my password to "incorrect" so whenever I forget it the computer will say, "Your password is incorrect."

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

JB: I laughed so they were clearly great examples. Thanks. What tips have you found for coping with this pandemic?

MJ: Nearly every day, I do a five-mile walk at about 5:30 AM with an occasional bike ride as an alternative. I am doing more cooking (starting from a very low base). About ten years ago, I started making juices and later graduated to a Vita-mix - this machine, unlike juicers, retains the fiber and is healthier. All sorts of fruits go in and it comes out pretty tasty. Also, a Vita-mix machine is much easier to clean than a juicer. But with the Corona affair, going to the store and getting fresh fruit is more of an operation so this aspect of my life is currently on hold.

I do some gardening. I also take care of my fish. When my son was a teenager we had a rather unsuccessful raspberry patch - a few raspberries a year. He wanted to build a pond. So we struggled through the Skokie clay and thick tree roots and eventually built a pond and stocked it with baby feeder fish (baby fish 10 cents each used as food for bigger aquarium fish) from the pet store. We put in a waterfall and, by using a pond heater, managed to keep the fish alive over the long Chicago winter. Let me tell you, fish breed like rabbits (even faster, I think) and now the pond is well-stocked.

I do not like interactive Zoom sessions though I am happy to listen to a Zoom lecture. We have had a few masked guests so we can interface with other humans. I also have become obsessive-compulsive in tracking international COVID statistics. These are very interesting and reveal a lot about various countries.

JB: Tell us more about your COVID tracking. What have you discovered?

MJ: The Worldometer Coronavirus site gives daily statistics on cases, deaths, and testing for about 200 countries. I copy them into a spreadsheet and add columns for certain percentages. I also do some correlations between tests, cases, deaths and daily new cases. I also have a spreadsheet comparing the EU to the US and another one on the Scandinavian countries which shows quite dramatically how Sweden is doing such a bad job compared to the other three Scandinavian countries.

JB: Initially, we thought Sweden was doing great even though they didn't close down. How do you explain the big turnaround?

MJ: I only started following Sweden after it turned bad. I was also concerned about an article in the NY Times in early May, which said Sweden had about the same death rate as Ireland which had been doing well. Ireland does have a high testing rate (much higher than the US) but it also has a high number of cases. Since then, the Swedish death rate per million has risen dramatically (as of June 2nd, Sweden 443 deaths per million, Ireland 336, US 326). I don't think they were ever doing that great with COVID - they were doing great having no lockdown. Many people in many countries were jealous. COVID got its revenge for not taking it seriously (if you will forgive these human attributes to a virus).

JB: It did sound too good to be true and also provided fodder for the "why do we have to be locked down?" camp. Anything you'd like to add before we wrap this up?

MJ: We started this interview before the police knee-neck murder, before the peaceful protests, before the looting, and before Trump used his bully-boys to break up a peaceful protest for a photo-op. The international COVID statistics show that within two weeks, we will be #1 in cases per million among all developed democracies over one million people. We will also have more deaths per million than all but five developed democracies. We may well catch up and overtake most of these. The Trump's administration policies have not only been useless but murderously counter-productive. The ancient Greek curse hangs over our forlorn country "Those whom the Gods wish to destroy, they first drive mad".

JB: I hear you. I also don't feel comfortable leaving on such a sour note. By any chance, do you have anything encouraging that you had been saving for last?

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