The elections of 2000, 2002, and 2004 went exactly as I had planned: My Control has become indisputable. Truth and freethinking have been all but eliminated in America as a whole, replaced by "dittoheads" and "fair and balanced" perspectives. The elections of 2006 and 2008 were carefully planned distractions to make everyone relax, thinking they had done what they had needed to save their beloved America from takeover by My oligarchic servants who would establish My Kingdom on Earth. The election of Barack Obama simply insured that I had divided the United States along the racial lines that had never healed after the Civil War, insuring my victory. To quote that goody two-shoes Lincoln, "A house divided against itself cannot stand."
I have won! Within a few years, all of Earth will be indirectly under My Dominion. And anyone who cares will be dead or imprisoned in "internment camps."
There is nothing you or My Ancient Adversary can do to stop it. I want to thank you all for your sheep-like cooperation. Pleasant dreams.
Sincerely, Lucifer
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