Following his death, this work has been led by Bo's wife, Sita, and carried on by the Human Kindness Foundation, which possesses a very broad range of experience and a unique vantage point when it comes to the justice system. The Lozoffs believed that the prison system must come out from behind its curtains of secrecy and be held accountable. It is time, Bo said, to let the era of incarceration fall into history, as has happened with the burning of witches, or the particularly cruel ways in which the mentally ill were treated in earlier times.
Letters:
Dear Bo,
Thank you so much for coming and sharing your message with us here! I do appreciate your embrace and warmth toward me after your talk. I dig what you said about feeling my sadness to its fullest and using it to gain more empathy and compassion. I do care about others and try to spend time helping others, even in here.
But one of my deepest sorrows is my aloneness. I am so jealous of the deep relationship that you and Sita have! I've spent my life in the can never had a real love relationship. I am poignantly aware that I am missing something.
The Tao speaks of a deep need to be united with your spiritually complementary partner. Hindus too. Is it possible that I can ever feel complete while so utterly alone? Am I selfish to want this? Do I just desire this, or is it a need?
Thanks for all your love! A
Dear A,
I appreciate how honest you were in the workshop. You helped everyone there to open up. Thank you. A lot of people on the streets complain that their romantic relationship is the biggest obstacle to their enlightenment. They say "if only I were single, then I could really do spiritual practice." I even know ex-cons who yearn for the simplicity of prison life, complaining that with family, etc., they have no time for meditation.
If we're looking for ways to feel alienated, lonely, and worried, we'll find them. Sita and I are in a relation-ship, so that's our circumstance to work with. You find yourself not in a romantic relationship, so that's your circumstance. We all have the same choice: to use all our circumstances toward spiritual goals. There are always hard parts of that choice.
And being alone is extremely different from being lonely. Since you quoted from the Tao, I should mention that Lao Tzu and other Taoist Masters lived in extreme solitude most of their lives a lot longer than you've been in prison. They chose to be alone.
Being honest with your experience of sadness is important; but justifying the sadness with a philosophy about "complementary partners" is a whole other thing. I'm sympathetic, you know that. But the whole universe exists right where you are. Bear in mind as you move through your experiences of sadness, regret, longing, etc., that one day you will feel whole and complete, right where you are.
If you can find your completeness in prison, then it will follow you to the street, into a relationship or anywhere else you ever find yourself. If you don't find your completeness where you are, then it won't be "waiting" for you anywhere else. Check out the divorce rate!
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