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Life Arts    H4'ed 6/28/19

Facebook and Roundup. The Same.


Allan Wayne
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Head em' up, Move em' out!
Head em' up, Move em' out!
(Image by Allan Wayne)
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Broad base Use. Creation of Conformity. Death to birds, bees, and possibly humanity.

"Hey!" Zuck cried as he read the label. "Roundup stole my disclaimer!"

"Negative," Google Assistant replied. "Facebook does not kill bees, except be an individual. Or maybe--To be, or not to be; No, wait, that was Hamlet."

"Hamlet, pig omelet," Zuck snorted. "I want beef! Cut em' from my cattle drive."

"You mean hard drive?"

"No cheese on the chuck wagon!" Zuck shouted. "Head 'em up! Move 'em out!"

"Wow. You sound like a trail boss." Goggle Assistant noticed Zuck's cowboy hat. "What's up?"

"Roundup and me are the same Pale Rider, pard'ner." Zuck raised his shoulders. "But Roundup sounds cooler. Says what it means: roundup the whole world even if you have to kill it! That's what I want! If we change our name to Roundup, I might get a billion more likes! Branding is everything!"

"But there's no cattle involved."

"No cattle?" His cheeks flushed rosy pink as he fingered his hat. "Hell, I got me a virtual corral! I might change to Fence-book! If I get a hot poker and start branding their butts with giant Z's, users might go for it! Like cool-ass tattoos!"

"We've been through this. They're persons, remember? Not addicts."

"Right. I forgot. Like buttons are not needles; saltlicks are only a temporary fix. But branding irons are forever! Tattoos, get it? A big Zuck on your butt! Git along little doggie!"

"Maybe you need to put your hoodie on," said Google Assistant.

"Never! Roundup stole my song!" Zuck slapped his thigh and did a two-step.

Head 'em up, Move 'em on

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Conceived on west coast, born on east coast, returned to northwest spawning grounds. Never far from water.


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