Hamlet played Ophelia in the drag /
Burned down the Globe Theatre during a stag
by John Kendall Hawkins
.
The whole problem could have been avoided
had Hamlet the sense to flip the ghosts off,
but the devil's in the details of our lives;
he philosophizes, but would be king.
He and Horatio were an item --
the talk of the town in old Wittenberg,
where they misconstrued Being over bier,
fought over die liebfraumilchmà �dchen there;
farted and had themselves a Falstaff purge
of words and anecdotes encased in phlegm.
At uni, I found the Bard exploited
by gay profs who wanted his sonnet love
so bad, they took out Canon-bustin' knives
and caesarian-sectioned the Duck Beijing.
