But wait, these words of his, they neither confirmed our greatness, conformed to our myths nor followed the approved and properly humble, penitent and patriotic script for the public words of someone who used to hang out with a Presidential Candidate.
Oh dear lord, I lost the map showing where grandpa put the underground bunker and I will never figure our where he buried the canned water.
But, wait, my sarcastic friend, this guy, he once said "God, damn America."
Oh, I think I know this guy. You must be talking about Jerry Falwell or Pat Robertson, who said that God had visited upon us the greatest damnation in all our history by flying airplanes into and laying waste to towering monuments of our economic might, and wrecking and setting ablaze a portion of the monument to our military might on September 11, 2001, killing and wounding thousands of heterosexual, Christian and even conservative Americans, all to punish us for allowing feminists, lesbians and liberals to live in our midst.
No, it was not them.
OK, then, it must have been Pastor Hagee, who said the worst natural disaster to befall our fair shores, Hurricane Katrina, was God’s damnation on thousands of heterosexual, Christian and even conservative Americans, all to punish them for allowing a gay parade to be planned in New Orleans.
Well, uh, no.
Then, what did this Guy Who Made a Speech say and what was the damnation of which he spoke.
He said God would damn America for destroying almost an entire race and enslaving another one and for not helping the poor and for attacking and killing millions of innocent citizens in countries that neither attacked nor threatened us.
Well none of that is nearly as bad as refusing to burn lesbians and feminists at the stake and letting gays out of the closet. Anyway, what happened, how were we actually damned?
We weren’t, unless you count 9-11.
But I thought that was about the lesbians and feminists?
Wait, let’s get back to the guy who made a speech. It was a very evil speech that, even if containing much that was true, made white working class Americans uncomfortable and cast doubt on whether their country had always been and always would be perfect in every way and wholly blessed by God to the exclusion of all others for all eternity.
Man, I am going to have to find that bunker map. We are doomed, I say, doomed!
Listen, you need to take this seriously...........
Why should I be so upset by a speech in the country that invented free speech?
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