In an offering a that could very well have come from Riane Eisler, Jean Baker Miller wrote:
"Power has generally meant the ability to advance oneself and simultaneously to limit and if possible, destroy the power of others.
"The power of another person or group of people was generally seen as dangerous. You had to control them or they would control you.
"But in the reality of contemporary human development, that is not a valid formulation. [In fact] the opposite is true. The greater the development of each individual the more able, more effective and less needful of limiting of restricting others he or she will be."
What these women found (which is not really surprising given the pervasiveness of the power-over mindset) is that traditional psychotherapy was structured in a way that often disempowered the very people it sought to help.
The reality is that within the clinical relationship therapists are in a powerful position. A patient/client will "put themselves in the therapist's hands:" opening up, sharing their struggles and hopes for a more satisfying life, and grappling with the obstacles they are seeking to overcome. No matter what the context, being a psychotherapy patient can elicit emotions like sadness or fear - aspects of the self often not shared with others.
However, as Bepko (who was strongly influenced by feminist theory) revealed, the lack of mutuality in traditional psychotherapy with substance dependent clients can replicate the intrapsychic and family dynamics of alcoholics. The absence of mutuality in the therapeutic context itself can create an interactional system in which the client is "one-down" to the therapist in the same way as they have felt one-down to alcohol. In conventional treatment the therapist is seen as more expert, in control, correct in his or her perceptions - in essence more powerful than the patient. The patient may struggle to remedy this, vying with the therapist in the same way as they are trying to be one-up regarding alcohol - proving to themselves and others that they can "handle it."
The Stone Center therapists found that increased mutuality is a solution to this challenging structural issue. Mutuality, as conceived by the Stone Center, meant that therapy is not a one-way street: there are two (in some cases, more than two) active people involved, both of whom are open to change through their interaction. In effective treatment, as the therapy experience deepens both the client and the therapist experience learning and growth.
In terms of power, the psychotherapeutic relationship cannot be fully mutual. However, within this context there can be can be an openness and human caring which goes both ways.
In our culture many, if not most clients, have been wounded through misuse of power, whether in families, educational institutions or organizations.
Therapists are challenged not to replicate toxic power imbalances. We do this by not assuming a "one-up" position vis--vis our clients. We are two human beings in conversation, one of whom is trained to help. Ideally, as therapists, we are taking whatever power we may have and aiding clients in becoming more powerful in the context of their own lives. Keen attunement to power dynamics and an openness to discussing them is essential to effective psychotherapy.
Expansion of the Partnership Model: Mutuality and Empowerment
The Stone Center offered two concepts which add depth and richness to Eisler's partnership model: mutuality and empowerment. These realities are implicit in Eisler's conceptualization. The women of the Stone Center made them explicit. Together they suggest that the alternative to power-over - "power-in-connection" - is more than collaboration, equality or cooperation.
The experience of mutuality in moments of deep connection is more of a felt-sense than an intellectual idea, such that the patient feels connected, understood, deeply accepted and appreciated. The therapist who is able to embody warmth, empathy, and genuineness, as well as respect, generates a field in which mutuality can blossom. At the same time a therapist's compassion allows them to perceive both patient's suffering and their highest potential.
The experience of empowerment: Jean Baker Miller states that the alternative to the power-over model is a "synergistic and nonhierarchical model of growth through the development of mutually empowering relationships." This applies to all relationships.
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