I'm on HOLD.
11:36 am: 33 minutes now. First I thought I would stick it out and wage war. I'm patient that way. I took a big dump without her knowing it.
But that was a few minutes ago. Now I'm fed up. I've heard that message now like 8 bajillion times. Even I know when enough is enough.
Enough.
11:37 am: So I just hung up and dialed the main number with all the options (and, like every other company that has them, announces and implores you in the initial greeting to listen carefully as their "menu options have recently changed"). Yeah, well right about now, I'd like a steak, medium rare with a fully loaded baked potato, some asparagus and an arugula salad. How come I never hear THAT option? While you're at it,I'd like a nice Bordeaux to go with it. I'd press 4, 7 and # for that.
11:38
am: Guess what I just learned when I called back?
"There must be something wrong with our system."
Oh, really?
11:39
am: The woman apologized and connected me to the correct department
immediately. Lauren answered very sweetly. I wanted to gnaw Lauren's
leg off. Her supervisor just told her to check the system and she
discovered there was something "wrong" with it. Thanks a lot, Lauren.
How about having lunch never again in your lifetime with me next
Wednesday?
11:41 am: It took my being resourceful enough to call back to straighten out their problem to get a human being. But they are still nowhere near straightening out mine. I need to fax them this information request.
11:47
am: Guess what? Their fax line is nonfucking stop busy. I
may have to call them back and straighten that out, too.
I was on hold for eternity and all I got from it was a live-blog and a sore neck.
Boy, do I feel stupid.
11:48 am: Next time, I'm live-blogging sex.
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