X. Thou Shalt Not Covet. O.K., here's the deal. Traditionally, this commandment covers wives, livestock, hand tools, household goods, and various other sundries. So let's break it down, shall we?
(A). Because coveting thy neighbor's wife is clearly a sin, thou shouldst only covet, harass, and sexually assault married women who reside outside thy nine digit zip code. And, please, don't forget thy tic-tacs. It's just common courtesy.
(B). I, myself, have no need to covet anything. It's simple: I see it, I want it, I take it. As for thee and thine, covet away; it shalt avail thee nothing, nada, zilch. End of story. Or shouldst I say, "Omega, suckers!"
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