Pavithra is proud to be earning INR 35000 per month out of which she gives INR 10000 to her family and "this has changed their attitude towards me completely. There was a time when none of the family members stood by me, but now they have accepted me as they are getting money from me. Money indeed wields great power".
Pavithra finds a distinct change in the attitude of people after the SC judgement. "Till now people had largely ignored our existence. SC has made them see us for the first time as fellow human beings.They have started talking to us with respect. Many city organizations even felicitated us publicly after the verdict. But we have to see how proactively the government supports us in the long run. Just granting reservation on paper is not enough, although it is a very important first step. There is acute shortage of funds too."
But she agrees that a lot more awareness has to be created in the hijra community. Many of them are living without openly declaring their identity-they wear sarees when going out to beg, but again wear men's clothing at home as they are scared to reveal their status to the family. They are also into a lot of drinking, and are unmindful of their health too.
Pavithra wants her community members to accept their identity and to work and not beg. "The new generation of transgenders should not make the same mistakes we did - they should not neglect their education and not feel scared to reveal their status as times are more conducive now."
Pavithra said that hijras are still a hidden population as far as health services are concerned. They indulge in unprotected sex and invite HIV/AIDS. Despite so much of work being done on this front for so many years, there is still lack of awareness. Also "the hospital staff is still generally insensitive to our needs. Despite a lot of advocacy being done with healthcare workers, they seem to derive some sadistic pleasure by asking uncomfortable questions and degrading and abusing us. All this scares the transgender patient away."
Preeti is currently working in Kushinagar. One of the 4 siblings, he comes from a political family of Lakhimpur Kheri in UP with deep rooted patriarchal values wherein men are expected to be violent and abusive.
"I recognized my different sexuality for the first time when I was 14 years old. The realization made me very nervous then. As it is, I was softhearted and it distressed me immensely on being constantly scolded by the elders for not showing any 'manly' behaviour and qualities. I had an inborn talent for dancing and would win many prizes in dance competitions. But in my family's eyes this was a 'girlish' talent. They wanted me to be adept at using firearms and not dance. I wanted to get away from this hostile environment. But where would I go? Only my sister understood me. When she got a job in Lucknow, she took me along with her. Lucknow opened up an entirely new world for me. There I went to Bharosa Trust where I met many people with similar leanings and my misgivings about myself vanished. I knew now that I am not alone and that there are many others like me. Bharosa counsellors taught me to accept my gender and sexuality. I felt at peace with myself for the first time. I now wanted to work for the community. I worked in Bharosa and learnt a lot from there. Then I left Bharosa as my boyfriend insisted me to go with him to his home town Maharajganj in Kushinagar and start a new life together. I adjusted with his family there. Then came the Pehchan project and I was selected to lead the project in Kushinagar. Meanwhile, people had started questioning my partner about our relationship. My friend did not want to tarnish his name because of this and advised me to get married. I was under a lot of psychological pressure from my parents too. I became tense, frustrated and confused once again. Eventually I got married, which made my family very happy. But I was not happy and found it difficult to maintain this relationship. I had succumbed to family pressure and in the process spoiled not only my life but that of an innocent girl too. If I had not agreed nobody could have forced me to get married. Only I am to blame for not being able to manage my life properly. Now I find solace in my work only and have fully involved myself with the Pehchan project work. I have lost all zest for life. Nothing makes me happy now. It seems that everyone uses us. People need to understand that nonacceptance by family and by society is the root cause of so many of our problems."
Sheetal from Kanpur is a graduate and runs the Pehchan project in Unnao. She is a transgender but has not undergone sex reassignment surgery (SRS). Family pressure forced her to get married in 1994, as she had not revealed her status to them till then. But she was not comfortable living a life of deceit and so bared her heart to her teacher wife. Luckily for Sheetal, her partner came to terms with her. She continued living with Sheetal (still does) and they even have a son from the marriage who is currently studying in B.Com and is very well-informed and sensitized towards transgender issues.
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