M.E. Thomas: I think those people are just really observant, they're observant and open minded. A lot of people when they, meet a sociopath wouldn't even think that, think of the possibility that that person would be a sociopath, right? The, sociopaths are so hidden, a lot of people think that they're so rare, and that a sociopath looks a particular way. That when they see somebody that looks just normal, that they're not even going to consider the possibility. And when you're not actively looking for it, there are a lot of signs that you could just ignore, or write off, or sort of excuse as being something else. When really, when you take all these little signs together, they indicate the person might be a sociopath.
Rob Kall: Okay. Now let's say somebody meets somebody, they figure out they're a sociopath, what would you advise them to do in terms of relating to them, handling them, escaping from them, overall?
M.E. Thomas: Yeah, overall. So I think it, it does, I don't know if there's a good overall. It depends on the situation. Some people don't, can't avoid the sociopath, and for those people I think boundaries, really clear boundaries, is the best way. And if the sociopath is sort of antagonistic, to document everything, and try never to be with them in a way that there's not a witness or a paper trail. That's the best way to keep an antagonistic sociopath in sort of control. If they're friendly, they're your friend, they're your sister, they're your aunt, they're your whatever, your spouse"
Rob Kall: Or spouse. I mean there's a lot of people, there are a number of books about how to deal with a sociopathic spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend.
M.E. Thomas: Right, if that person is sort of friendly and wants a relationship to work, then really clearly define boundaries. Treat the sociopath's bad behavior, a little bit like you would treat a dog's behavior. Don't be hurt when a dog defecates on your floor, you're not personally hurt and think he must have done this because I'm a bad owner, you know. Or like read too much into it, just realize that the sociopath has some bad behaviors that don't necessarily have any malicious intent actually to them. That's just kind of the way that they act out, like chewing apart your shoe, right? A sociopath has all sorts of activities that look a lot like a dog chewing your shoe, you just tell them no and keep really clear boundaries and apply them extremely consistently, and until he realizes that you're not going to budge on these boundaries.
And for people, who are trying to get rid of a sociopath, maybe they were in a relationship with a sociopath and they're trying to end the relationship. I think that the best way to do this is to, in some ways play dead. You know, go, go limp, like you would if somebody's trying to mug you. Because, if you're not giving them anything to work with, they're just going to stop harassing you. So I say to people become really boring, boring and act like you have just acquired some sort of chronic illness. Stop bathing, you know, don't say anything interesting, just be completely bland, as bland as possible. And eventually the sociopaths just going to get bored and leave you alone.
Rob Kall: So ignore them, and not"
M.E. Thomas: Not necessarily ignore them, yeah if a sociopath calls you up and you're trying to get rid of them, like, "Hey lets go out tonight!" then like, "Oh, I think that I might have a really bad case of athletes foot, and it might have spread too," *chuckles* you know like disgusting stuff. Where the sociopath is, doesn't feel like he's being ignored, he feels like these are legitimate reasons why the person might want to do it, but he's going to think of this person as boring, or a loser.
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