(5) "Covenant marriages" require confrontation and forgiveness.
Chapman shared how the early years of lack of intimacy with his wife had almost led him to become divorced.
Chapman had only stumbled upon a change in his relationship, communications, and actions towards his wife when he came to understand that "covenants" in the Bible were often based initially on the one-sided promise of one person committing themselves permanently to the others and to their offspring.
For example, the son of Saul, named Jonathan, committed himself initially in a one-sided covenant to David. This was nearly a generation before David saw that in response to Jonathan's covenant (decades earlier), he [David] was called to undertake a response in kind to Jonathan's offspring. Only, then did David take care of Jonathan's crippled descendent. (Sometimes our covenantal love will not be reciprocated in our own lifetimes.)
Similarly, God promised Abraham and Moses many generations of offspring, not because they had offered a covenant to the Lord. It was The Lord, the Most Powerful, who had approached them with a covenant because he loved them. Similarly, God had made a covenant with Noah--not because Noah had built an Ark--but because God was committed to Noah and generations to follow.
In short, unlike contracts, covenants are commitments that one enters into one-sidedly initially. This may then lead to commitment and mutual permanent covenant with the other being fully accepted and reciprocated in hearts, mind, and deed. This covenant is naturally unconditional as Chapman pointed out in (2) above. Moreover, (3) steadfast love keeps the covenant fixed (from one side at least) for (4) eternity.
In Chapman's own personal story, he said it took months and months before his recommitment to his covenantal relationship with his wife before he noted any reciprocation of that love and giving on his lifelong partner's part.
Finally, it is the fifth point in the covenantal keys above that is the most overlooked corollary in marriage--and in the patterns of communication between partners--in our day and age. Recall, according to Chapman, (5) "'Covenant marriages' require confrontation and forgiveness." It is at this junction of commitment to communication and commitment to the covenant of marriage that Chapman's earlier chapters unite in NOW YOU'RE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE, i.e. in this fifth point that the
Imagery of Healthy Communication patterns and levels of communication become more unified and logical and holistic for the reader.
Next Page 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10
(Note: You can view every article as one long page if you sign up as an Advocate Member, or higher).
